Goof: College to renovate allllllllll the buildings

Disclaimer: This story is a part of out April Fool’s edition, The Goofordian. This story was created by Guilfordian Staff and is not based in fact.


Guilford College has announced that it will be updating all the buildings and infrastructure on campus. Every building on campus will be out of commission as the administration improves or rebuilds each building. The big improvements will come as part of Guilford’s new curriculum plan and focus on preparing students for the technology-focused future.

The college is looking to bring in more of Generation Z to Guilford. The biggest renovation to the campus as part of this will be the complete rebuild of Founders Hall. The building will have seven stories to signify the seven core values of the college.

“The college is focusing on catering to the needs of our students and these renovations will do that,” said President Jane Fernandes. “ This will improve the appeal of the college to Generation Z and future generations.”

Founders Hall will be one part of the renovations that will connect all the main building around the Quad to form a circle. Student will be able to walk from Hege Library to Founders without stepping outside.

“This will help insure that no students or staff dies in the terribly cold winter of North Carolina,” said Director of Health and Wellness Mehmet Oz. “ We had two people complain last year of being cold, so I think this will cut down on the complaints.”

The plan has drawn criticism over where student will be taking classes during the 2019-20 school year. All the classes will be held outdoors to avoid interruption by construction.

“Students will be immersed in the outdoors for this year and that will exponentially increase their learning,” Fernandes said. “Being outdoors is the best place to learn.”

While most classes will be meeting on the Quad, the Biology department has a different plan for its classes. The department will hold some classes on the shores of the lake and others in the lake.

“The students will be immersed in their projects which will enrich themselves and create and amazing learning environment,” said Biology Department Chair Bryan Brendley. “Being in the lake will allow the unexpected to happen which is a great when the students will be running science experiments.”

According to Brendley, at least one group of students in the Spring 2020 semester will study the whether it is safe for humans to be in the lake. The classes will be held outside even with snow and freezing temperatures in the winter.

“We want to get this large project done quickly and it can beneficial for students to not be in their normal classrooms,” Fernandes said. “There are many studies that show that having distractions or chaos actually improves people’s ability to learn.”

Many students have criticized the timing of the construction.

“I’m taking a photography class and I need access to the darkroom,” said sophomore Ansel Adams. “I cannot develop photos outside, and if I don’t get to develop these photos, I might not become famous.”

With every building getting some  kind of renovation, there are a few changes that students have given positive feedback to. The college will be adding a bar, Womack Emporium, on the first floor of Founders Hall. The bar will be run by Professor of Foreign Languages Dave Limburg and will be modeled after a bar in Munich, Germany called Weid Barwirtschaft.

The campus renovations will cost the school about $666 million that will be paid through donations. A large portion of the donations is coming from the Charles Koch Foundation. The donation will be the largest in school history at $333 million. The other half of the funding will come from Sheldon Adelson.

“We are very thankful for the generous donation from these amazing individuals,” Fernandes said. “They understand and support the goals of the college and want to see it thrive in the future.”

While Founders Hall will be getting the most renovations, Bauman will be adding a floor dedicated to classes on virtual reality and augmented reality. King Hall will have all the classes remodeled to offer advanced technology and will add a stock ticker wall to the entrance. Hege Library will be adding a maker space and a book retrieval system to remove the hard work of finding books.

Duke Hall will be modernized to add a 300-person classroom that will be used for some general education classes. The only building that will be renamed at this point will be Hege-Cox Hall as it will change to Hege-Koch Hall. It will also add an art gallery with pattern painted walls.

“I am excited to donate to such a great school for many necessary capital improvement,” said Charles Koch. “The college has so many values that align with myself and my organization that it was no doubt to support the school.”

The construction is planned to be completed by summer 2020 but delays could change that timeline.