Goof: Duck should be our student body president
Hannah Shoemaker, Not a Duck
March 30, 2018
Disclaimer: This story is a part of out April Fool’s edition, The Goofordian. This story was created by Guilfordian Staff and is not based in fact. You know him. You may love him. You may fear him. And now, you will vote for him. When I first heard that that one weird duck (you know, the one with t...
Guilford to host FIFA World Cup in 2k22
James Sharpe, Sepp Blatter’s #1 Fan
April 1, 2016
Disclaimer: This story is a part of our April Fool’s edition, The Goofordian. This story was created by Guilfordian staff and is not based in fact. “I can’t believe that I am saying this,” said Guilford College President Jane Fernandes. “We have some exciting news regarding the FIFA Wor...
Students split further, club sports take stand
Maksym Kosachevskyy, Club-Sport Enthusiast
April 1, 2016
Disclaimer: This story is a part of our April Fool’s edition, The Goofordian. This story was created by Guilfordian staff and is not based in fact. “We will not stand for this,” said sophomore Jordan Smith of the Utimate Frisbee team. “Not only can I not attend classes anymore, all of the c...
Surprisingly, the Indoors Club hates the outside
Elizabeth Houde, Indoors Club Founder
April 1, 2016
Disclaimer: This story is a part of our April Fool’s edition, The Goofordian. This story was created by Guilfordian staff and is not based in fact. Long before there was Guilford College, there was a Guilford College Indoors Club. The Indoors Club was formed in response to a concerned Guilford...
English major barely makes it out of Frank alive
Aubrey King, Trauma Counselor
April 1, 2016
Disclaimer: This story is a part of our April Fool’s edition, The Goofordian. This story was created by Guilfordian staff and is not based in fact. When I finally sat down with senior English major Eric Perierat in front of Founders Hall, the lines in his face were deep, and his hair stood almost s...
Guilford aims to make college great again
Tessa Wood, Trump’s Campaign Organizer
April 1, 2016
Disclaimer: This story is a part of our April Fool’s edition, The Goofordian. This story was created by Guilfordian staff and is not based in fact. Over the past few years, an influx of people representing various cultures has invaded the Guilford College campus. Students are mad, teachers are upse...
“Yeezus” steps up as Guilford’s next Prez
DaeQuan Fitzgerald, Head of PR for Kanye West
April 1, 2016
Disclaimer: This story is a part of our April Fool’s edition, The Goofordian. This story was created by Guilfordian staff and is not based in fact. It all happened so fast. Earlier this week, a rehearsal speech to be given by Guilford College’s president, Jane Fernandes, was taking place in...
Staff Editorial: dissent over the swings
Editorial Board
April 1, 2016
Disclaimer: This story is a part of our April Fool’s edition, The Goofordian. This story was created by Guilfordian staff and is not based in fact. Normally, the Editorial Board comes to consensus on the topics for our staff editorials. However, there is one topic that is too divisive for us to ag...
We’re gonna be on MTV!!!
Estavio Jones, Staff-Bunny
April 1, 2016
Disclaimer: This story is a part of our April Fool’s edition, The Goofordian. This story was created by Guilfordian staff and is not based in fact. MTV is coming to Guilford!?! That’s right, due to the lingering budget crisis and crippling financial pressures, Guilford College has agreed t...
