The Guilfordian

Goof: Korean pop group BTS moves to Guilford

Aarushi Ahuja, BTS Army Foundation Chairman

March 30, 2018

Disclaimer: This story is a part of out April Fool’s edition, The Goofordian. This story was created by Guilfordian Staff and is not based in fact. The Korean pop world was left in shambles on Friday, March 30, when global award-winning group BTS made an objectively unexpected announcement. On the grou...

Goof: President Trump is impeached via Twitter

Goof: President Trump is impeached via Twitter

Julia Martins de Sa, White House Correspondent

March 30, 2018

Disclaimer: This story is a part of out April Fool’s edition, The Goofordian. This story was created by Guilfordian Staff and is not based in fact. On Thursday, March 29, 2018, the House Democrats’ official Twitter account, @HouseDemocrats, tweeted out, “Congress has voted today to impeach ...

Goof: Campus lake converting to competition pool

Goof: Campus lake converting to competition pool

Andrew Walker, Organic Farmer

March 30, 2018

Disclaimer: This story is a part of out April Fool’s edition, The Goofordian. This story was created by Guilfordian Staff and is not based in fact. After nine years of students complaining that there is no pool on campus and the women’s swimming team practicing off campus, the administration has crea...

Goof: Sports have been played to their fullest extent

Kathleen Herbst, Expert Mathlete

March 30, 2018

Disclaimer: This story is a part of out April Fool’s edition, The Goofordian. This story was created by Guilfordian Staff and is not based in fact. “Sports are done,” declares the One True Sports Authority and senior at Guilford, Mae Wood. “The late Stephen Hawking had a theory that the...

Goof: Supremacy in Division IV comes at a cost

Nate Williams, Resident Sports Connoisseur

March 30, 2018

Disclaimer: This story is a part of out April Fool’s edition, The Goofordian. This story was created by Guilfordian Staff and is not based in fact. Guilford College surprises the country as the first to sweep the board and win all national titles in NCAA Division IV. Division IV is a new divi...

Goof: “God’s Plan” is new North Korean anthem

Jonah Selom, North Korean Spy

March 30, 2018

Disclaimer: This story is a part of out April Fool’s edition, The Goofordian. This story was created by Guilfordian Staff and is not based in fact. “God’s Plan” to be made new North Korean national anthem, provokes U.S. response On March 21, North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un announced the hit ...

Goofordian: Dory & Nemo: they’re what’s for lunch and dinner

Brittany Murdock, Staff Writer

March 29, 2013

Disclaimer: This story is a part of our April Fool's edition, The Goofordian. This story was created by Guilfordian staff and is not based in fact. Have you noticed some missing fish in The Grill fish tank? Where could they possibly be going? The answer may lie within you. In order to save mon...

Goofordian: Cons of replacing all trees with mist fountains

Goofordian: Cons of replacing all trees with mist fountains

Lane Martin, Staff Writer

March 29, 2013

Disclaimer: This story is a part of our April Fool's edition, The Goofordian. This story was created by Guilfordian staff and is not based in fact. Guilford College is a place known for its devotion to academics, its friendly atmosphere, and soon its lavish water features. Students outraged by the r...

Goofordian: Pros of replacing all trees with mist fountains

Hannah Waller, Staff Writer

March 29, 2013

Disclaimer: This story is a part of our April Fool's edition, The Goofordian. This story was created by Guilfordian staff and is not based in fact. As you stroll through campus, you hear the playful bubbling of fountains. A warm beam of sunshine makes a rainbow aura through the cool mist in the a...