The Guilfordian

Jell-O is the new orange, green, purple, red…

The newest addition to the cafeteria dessert menu is Jell-O. Students should not worry about moving gelatinous substances.
April 1, 2017

Guilford Dining is dedicated to sustainable practices and managing its waste in the most reasonable manner possible. Right now, campus dining services are leading the charge sparking the widespread boycott...

American Idol, college edition, comes to Guilford

Addy Allred ’16 performs in the newest American Idol season this past Monday, March 28, 2017, in Los Angeles, California. Allred’s mixtape is expected to drop the summer of 2020.
April 1, 2017

Simon Fuller, popularly known for managing the Spice Girls, is also the mastermind behind the “Idol” franchise that spawned “Pop Idol” and “American Idol” In an exclusive interview with...

Hot Brazilians better choice for romantic life partners, superior to American lovers

Georgia, 20, Libra. She is a med school student who is looking for a partner who eats as much as she does (@georgialorena).
April 1, 2017

If there is one thing our generation is tired, of it’s being alone. Thanks to the amount of exposure we receive from other people’s lives through social media, it is hard not to envy them, especially...

Letter to the Editor

April 1, 2017

To Whom It May Concern: With the post-election environment on campus becoming increasingly anti-conservative and anti-Republican, I wanted to take this opportunity to explain my white, male, conservative...

Humanities students all do drugs, y’all

April 1, 2017

“I’ll be there in five minutes,” said sophomore Billie “Country” Nelson on the phone. I met Nelson in my macroeconomics class when we were placed in the same group for a project. I happened...

Hissssss honk, honk hiss, honk-hooooonk

Goose Springstein violently interviews Kurt Vonnegoose about the humans that walk around Guilford campus. The student/goose divide has gotten worse since the College was built back in 1837. // Photo by Goose Goosey Jr.
April 1, 2017

Last week, I was meandering across the quad in front of Hege-Cox when a student honked at me. He then raised his arms, mimicking the way me and my friends raise our wings when we feel threatened. He then...

PLOT TWIST: Pres Fernandes now supports Trump

April 1, 2017

Last November, to the chagrin of students, faculty and administrators at Guilford College, Donald Trump became the 45th president of the United States. Now, some are ready to accept and support the commander-in-chief. “In...

Lesser white man favored by administration, probably

Lesser white man favored by administration, probably
April 1, 2017

Spring has sprung, full of crocuses and pollen, and with it, so too has our anxiety. Luckily for us, we are down to the last two finalists for assistant director for student counseling and success, a position...

Guilford terminates contract with Under Armour

Guilford terminates contract with Under Armour
April 1, 2017

Guilford College’s President Jane Fernandes issued a statement that the Quakers’ athletic teams will no longer wear Under Armour uniforms due to the CEO of Under Armour, Kevin Plank, praising President...

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