The student news site of Guilford College

The Guilfordian

The student news site of Guilford College

The Guilfordian

The student news site of Guilford College

The Guilfordian

Is it lust or is it love? Thoughts about college relationships

Do you like them? Do you lust after them? Or do you truly love them?

These three questions run subconsciously through our brains when we think we might have found someone worth sharing our secrets, our emotions and our lives with.

How do you know the difference between the three “L’s:” like, lust, love?

Guilford College students open up about their own experiences, thoughts and feelings about dating and meeting someone for the first time.

Everyone has known what it is like to feel attracted to another person. Some people may look for someone “considerate, thoughtful and humorous,” like sophomore Mandy Lu.

Others, like junior Josh Wynne, may try to find people that share with them “a bond that is based on trust and a lot of mutual feelings.”

Beyond simple character traits, there is more depth involved with the process of looking for that someone special, whether they are on campus, back home or somewhere else in the world.

However, the bottom line rests with two people being able to make each other happy, and ultimately a better person.

Isn’t this the basis of any relationship, friendly or intimate?

While people look for their crush, their hook-up, or a future significant other, they delve into their own thought process concerning why they chose that particular person, why they believe that person would be “good” for them, and what they hope to get out of the relationship.

Shared below are some snippets of Guilford students’ answers. How do your own answers stack up in comparison?

What relationships are:

“A relationship to me … should come naturally, and the two people in the relationship should feel natural and content.” – Mandy Lu

“When two people respect each other and are exclusive with their affections.” – Kelcey Johnson, senior


What relationships aren’t:

“It’s not a binding relationship. Hard feelings can be avoided if one person feels like it’s not going anywhere … just be honest and the other person has to accept it.” – Josh Wynne

“It’s not a relationship when it feels forced and uncomfortable. It gets in the way more than enjoying being with each other.”– Mandy Lu

“Abuse, cheating on the other person, or not respecting that person.” – Kelcey Johnson


What is a good first impression?

“Someone who can immediately make me laugh or smile, or just a person I can carry a good conversation with.” –Josh Wynne

“Someone who seems comfortable in their own skin.” –Morgan McKinnon, first year

“Classy and sassy.” – Kelcey Johnson


How do you initiate a relationship?

“Make sure both people want the same thing and go for it. Ask them. Then go for it.” – Josh Wynne

“Ideally a relationship just happens naturally, when two people feel close and connected enough to each other for both of them to acknowledge the connection.” – Mandy Lu

“Asking the other person to hang out exclusively.” –Kelcey Johnson


Alright, but what about pickup lines?

“‘You’re beautiful,’ or ‘I adore you.’ Sweet things that actually mean something.” – Junior Brandi Ingram

“I walk away when anyone uses a pickup line.” –Kelcey Johnson

“All pickup lines suck.” – First-year Morgan McKinnon


Maybe some of these ideas you agree with, and maybe there are some with which you do not.

Hopefully these shared beliefs and thoughts make you think about your own approach to relationships, what they are, and what you believe they should be.

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