Q: What’s the difference between Charlie Sheen and Leonardo DiCaprio?

A: Sheen knows what it’s really like to be on a sinking ship.

Sheen has long been plagued by scandals. Until recently, however, none of them have adversely affected his career or his show “Two and a Half Men,” which was pulling in roughly 15 million viewers per episode and providing Sheen with $2 million per episode, according to TVSquad.com.

In the recent months, Sheen has conducted interviews in which he described himself as having “Adonis DNA” and “tiger blood,” as well as many quotable gems such as “I’m tired of pretending I’m not a total bitchin’ rock star from Mars,” and “winning.” In regards to being fired from the show “Two and Half Men,” Sheen said of the show’s creator Chuck Lorre, “I wish him nothing but pain in his silly travels … I have defeated this earthworm with my words — imagine what I would have done with my fire breathing fists … (CBS) picked a fight with a warlock.”

Since being fired, Sheen has embarked on a tour called “My Violent Torpedo of Truth/Defeat is Not an Option.” Tickets to the event sold out in 18 minutes. However, the first show in Detroit was universally panned. The question is, why would people want to pay to see this?

I can think of two explanations: fans of Sheen who are still standing by him, and fans of the crazy stuff he’s been saying and hope that he’ll come up with more quotes. It seems like it’s a kind of gladiator event — people are just watching to see how far it can go. Americans love to watch personal failure — we are secretly disappointed if things go “wrong” and the person doesn’t end up being a total whack job.

I’ve never watched “Two and a Half Men,” and up until recently, the only thing I knew about Sheen was that he is Martin Sheen’s son and was in that movie “Platoon.” However, all the major news outlets — even such reputable ones such as CNN — have been chronicling his descent into madness.

Of specific interest has been Sheen’s “family” — the two porn stars who are currently living with him — who he calls his “goddesses.” He has become the butt of everybody’s jokes, which is evident in Jimmy Fallon’s parody video, where he promotes a cologne called “Winning.”

As entertaining as it is when Sheen asserts that “I am on a drug, it’s called Charlie Sheen,” it is also sad. I’m not talking about Sheen and his girlfriends — they are adults and can do whatever they want. I’m talking about the five children he has — including his twin sons, who were unfortunate enough to live in that hellhole of a house for a brief period. When they are old enough to operate a computer, you can bet that they are going to Google their dad. And what’s the first thing that will pop up? Sheen proclaiming that “I was banging seven-gram rocks, because that’s how I roll.”

What is so pathetic about this is the fact that news outlets are willing to play into the hysteria just to titillate their viewers, never mind who is actually getting hurt — such as those children. People love to witness the social death of the rich and famous — Tiger Woods, anyone?

All this attention is unsurprisingly encouraging Sheen. I would love to be on his P.R. team.

Compared to his past demons — which include beating his wives and girlfriends, accidentally shooting a girlfriend in the arm, drug use, and jail time — and the work they must have had to do to brush all that under the rug, this must seem like a vacation.

Apart from Child Services taking Sheen’s twin boys away, news outlets have been viewing this with a kind of amused confusion. It’s like giving a dog a treat for peeing on the wood floor instead of the carpet because it’s easier to clean up. All these people are calling him crazy, and he may turn out to be bipolar or having a manic episode. Instead of showering him with attention, what he really needs is for the media and the public to give him a break to regain control of his life.