The student news site of Guilford College

The Guilfordian

The student news site of Guilford College

The Guilfordian

The student news site of Guilford College

The Guilfordian

Toyota unveils fecal-powered car

At last week’s auto show, Toyota unveiled their newest pioneering car, seeking to revolutionize the industry once again. This time it is not with solar panels or a 50 mile-per-gallon fuel economy. Rather, it is a car that has an intricate system of enhancing comfort on the road, while recycling human bodily waste in order to create electricity.

“The Toilus is the ultimate car for energy efficiency and comfort,” said Toyota’s President Katsuaki Watanabe. “Not only will we be helping the environment, but we will be maximizing relief on the road.”

According to Toyota, this will provide for a more leisurely drive that will appeal to both long trips and commuting. The Toilus will be complete with a toilet under each seat, with remote controls that open, close and remove the under-clothing of the passenger.

“It’s great because I can just continue driving and not worry about pulling down my pants,” said Washington, D.C., commuter Frederick Johnson. “The best part is probably the fact that it has an automatic washer.”

The Toilus is not only taking consumers by storm, but it is also reaching the interest of major corporations and organizations. News Corporation, the parent company of numerous media companies such as Fox News, has received influence from the new car. They are considering going on a carbon-neutral campaign, but it is still unclear whether they will.

“Often when I wake up, I have to go to the bathroom,” explained News Corporation Chief Executive Rupet Turdoch. “Now I can get up 10 minutes later. Not only that, I usually have to go again in 30 minutes due to my sphincter problem. With the Toilus, my car ride experience is much more satisfying.”

The car was inspired by a long-known concept that fecal matter can be turned into electricity. The car’s intricate system revolves around extracting methane to use for fuel.

As the waste produced by the passengers is flushed down the toilet, it travels into a tank where the water and solids separate. This stresses the feces, where the solid waste is sticky and soft, which is called “sludge.” The sludge then goes into a fermenting stage and decays, producing methane. The methane is then produced into gas in an oxygen-free process, generating heat.

One of Toyota’s first promotion strategies is to quell the idea of an unwanted smell.

“The smell shouldn’t be a problem,” said a spokesman for Toyota. “We took that into consideration. The only thing that we can’t guarantee is the odor that might emit from your own bowels.”

Bumper stickers are also being sold to promote the car. Such bumper stickers read “S*** Happens,” or “Don’t like my driving? Call 1-800-EAT****.”

Toyota may very well define the future of energy-efficient cars. Only time will tell how successful the Toilus will be. But, by the looks of it, defecation may be new the face of automobiles.

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