Guilford College, bein’ all up in the heezy with the diversifyin’ and what-not, now ’bout to hit the schooling hard when they roll out the business, straight gangsta-like. Now, my peeps tell me that three new classes fixin’ to be crunk up, just in time for hoody season. I hope y’all pickin’ up what I’m layin’ down, because this is gonna be straight flava, for the “G” on the go, but still lookin’ to get they Urkel on and be ’bout it! KNOWHATIMSAYIN? Here we go!

The English Department was the first in line to co-sign and get this thang poppin’ off. They Donald Trumpish over there, cause they know REAL TRUE future ballas when they get ’em and they just E-Trade babies. After a quick bit of ear-hustlin’ over in Archdale I was able to gaffle this for ya. For starters, the main source of the new joints is gonna be 2PAC-Ology.

2PAC-Ology 510

Stunner, you gonna learn how to Philoso-Fly up in this piece. Pac would have it no less. How to get put on and then rise to the top is the main ingredient. Homies here gon have to put down a slammin’ remix of ‘California Love” in order to become a “G” in the West Coast portion of the class. Ya heard?!!

Biggie-Omics 101

Just like it say, fool! Nuthin’ but Biggie, Bad Boy, and Brooklyn. Brooklyn, Bad Boy, and Biggie, all the time. Playas get down on how to spit fresh NY rhymes, wear Dapper-Dan jawns, and how to just be as fly as fly can be, while gettin’ skooled in the game of how to “play the charts like the Beatles!” Just like B.I.G.! No haters allowed, as we don’t need nobody out of pocket!

Old School Slang and Ebonics-English 202

In order to bosh this clezzy and bounce, you have to autograph a five page rhyme showing you know how to be all dat, locate an Atari in the midst, how to big-up yo homeboy/girls, and put it straight to some blood that’s straight illin’, Dawg! You master that and it’s cashed, Home-Skillet! You can go out and get your grown man/woman on and REALLY know how to drop the funk-flow better than the funk-master himself, Bootsy Collins.

So you better get gone or get lost if you new to this type of teachin’. Only a hater would think that THIS is jive, B! Gettin’ on the list for these classes will make you bubble-up quicker than a pot on the stove full of salty water, punk! Sessions will be mad affordable, because “the man” knows that we are all college-folk and don’t have the scrilla to make it rain all willy-nilly! If I’m correct, a C-note a session and you in there like swimwear, playa. Make sure you have a BOLO around Squirrel-Day for the new courses, Locster. Cant beat the price, can’t beat the knowledge! In the words of the Immortal Omar Little…. INDEED!!