The student news site of Guilford College

The Guilfordian

The student news site of Guilford College

The Guilfordian

The student news site of Guilford College

The Guilfordian

Shaq comes up short

“A legendary figure conceived out of ancient Greek mythology” is how Shaquille O’Neal is introduced in his new reality show, Shaq Vs, on ABC. In this new series, Shaq, the Diesel himself, challenges the best athletes in an array of sports to test his claim of being “the greatest athlete ever formed.” He boasts continuously that he could have played any sport he wanted, and with his imposing 7′ 1″ at first glance, it seems somewhat feasible.

In the spirit of sportsmanship and camaraderie, Shaq Vs seems like a fair concept for a reality show. Yes, there is competition, but it could allow for viewers, and Shaq to gain an appreciation for the talent and dedication of professional athletes.

Sadly, Shaq is far from being competitive with any professional athlete outside of basketball.

In the first episode, Shaq declares that the best way to exemplify his football skills is to take on two-time Super Bowl champ and Pittsburgh Steelers quarterback, Ben Roethlisberger.

Shaq not only failed to impress on the football field by losing to Roethlisberger in a football game, but he also loses in a “friendly” game of Horse to the Pro Bowl quarterback – proving that Shaq doesn’t even dominate his own sport.

Other episodes have Shaq facing St. Louis Cardinal Albert Pujols in a home run hitting contest, champion boxer Oscar de la Hoya in a boxing match, and Olympian volleyball players Misty May-Treanor and Kerri Walsh in a volleyball match. Not surprisingly, Shaq loses to them all. In fact, it is amazing that “That’s How I Beat Shaq,” a song by Aaron Carter isn’t playing in the background after each painful loss.

Apparently, becoming a legend in the world of sports is not good enough for Shaq. Despite what he repeats to himself in a mirror each night, he is not “the greatest all-around athlete ever formed.”

Imagine Shaq as a figure skater. This seems impossible; the ice would break through before his first double axel. Synchronized swimming could be another option; if only he wasn’t the size of a bear and had the grace of a hippo. Granted, his muscle mass could give him a fighting chance at mountain biking, but only if he was going downhill.

Shaq Vs is merely another endeavor by Shaq to increase his star quality.

In 1996, he chose acting. While “Kazaam” was entertaining, it was hardly more than an excuse for a good laugh. Next, he set his sights towards becoming a rapper; obviously, that didn’t go too far either. It appears that his checklist of ploys to increase fame was rapidly diminishing, and reality TV star was the last available option.

Shaq Vs is another example of a celebrity attempt to try their hands in another realm of entertainment, yet come out lacking. It appears forced in amusement quality, poor in content, and dry in comedic value.

For those who want to see Shaq in action, my advice is to go to a Cleveland Cavaliers game. Even then, Shaq’s skills will be overshadowed by LeBron’s talent.

Leave a Comment
More to Discover

Comments (0)

The Guilfordian intends for this area to be used to foster healthy, thought-provoking discussion. Comments are expected to adhere to our standards and to be respectful and constructive. As such, we do not permit the use of profanity, foul language, personal attacks, or the use of language that might be interpreted as libelous. Comments are reviewed and must be approved by a moderator to ensure that they meet these standards. The Guilfordian does not allow anonymous comments, and requires a valid email address. The email address will not be displayed but will be used to confirm your comments.
All The Guilfordian Picks Reader Picks Sort: Newest

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *