I care deeply about the grades I make. I haven’t done psychoanalysis as to discover exactly why I care so much, but I do. I know a lot of you do, too. Actually, I think more people care than even admit it. So when we read in a syllabus that part of our participation in class counts towards our grade (and probably even when it doesn’t), we participate.We interject our opinions, our thoughts, our discoveries, our insights, and even our questions. We’re the first to start the discussion, and we’re the last word at the close of class. Professors want us in their classes for lively conversations and spirited discussions.

Lately, I’ve been studying about listening. Not just hearing, but a deeper comprehension that focuses on what the other person is saying without thinking about what I’m going to say next, or what kind of earth-shattering advice I can give to fix, help, or enlighten.

I believe everyone has something to add during classroom discussions, but sometimes, informed and intelligent listening helps everyone more than just always throwing out your opinion. It seems that listening to others should be just as important in our participation grade as what we have to say. I admit that it’s hard for a professor to judge how well people are listening as a basis for a grade, but if someone dominates the discussion (as I have found that I am tempted to do), then I wonder how much we are really learning.

When I’m talking a lot, whether in a classroom or with my friends, then I find that I’m not really participating in comprehension – I’m not really taking in what is being said. This semester I’ve been trying to do more listening in class and less talking. My participation grade might not be an “A”, but I think I’ll learn more by talking less.

I’ve even made a decisive move to better listening in my personal life. I have four children who range in age from 11-16. They talk a lot and normally I like to interrupt them by giving them advice, preaching a short sermon (or in their opinion, long), helping them learn some kind of life lesson, but rarely do I just let them talk, share, and complain.

I told them my goal for better listening and that if I start on one of my teaching rampages then they have permission to stop me and ask me (respectfully) to just listen. They pretty much cheered at this proposition and even tried to negotiate a money reward if I interrupt, preach or advise. They didn’t get that deal – I don’t trust myself that well – yet.

So, here’s to better listening, whether in the classroom, at home, or with my friends. I hope you’ll find someone to listen – or maybe you’ll become the listener.