For my second meal I picked up the phone instead of the cookbook. After moderately successful debut with the lemon chicken, I decided to fall back on a classic, a George family classic: Pasta and beans. My parents have been making this stuff since before my time and I’ve grown up on the leftovers from this low-cost, high-yield staple. It is brilliantly simple and perfect for stretching the dollar. (How well do I know my audience?!)I made a quick call to my dad and got the recipe and ingredients. Of course I didn’t write anything down. Not only is my mind a stainless-steel trap, but like Aesop and the Brothers Grimm before me, I chose to invest in the security of the oral tradition. Dare I sacrifice the fluidity of the spoken word? No, Eric Mortensen, I dare not. I hope this doesn’t bite me in the ass.

The shopping was simple and upon my return home I lay the ingredients out before me, much like a clown with his red nose and make-up, or a magician tending to his hat and rabbit. Much to my displeasure, the food on the counter did not transform before my eyes in a Disneyesque display of color and harmony. Alas, I would have to do this the hard way. This is not child’s play, dear reader, this is cooking.

As I reached for knife and garlic, I quickly realized that we don’t have a cutting-board. When pitching a hissy-fit got me nowhere, I decided to just use the countertop. (but not before a thorough wipe-down. Remember, Max says “safety first!”) Chopping the garlic and onions was no problem. I actually made it all the way through cooking the beef before this Mario reached another end-boss, if you will.

Having employed the strainer to wash and mix the beans and veggies, I didn’t know what to do with the raging pot of pasta. I wish I could say I McGyvered myself a strainer out of a wire hanger, three AAA batteries and some post-it notes, but that would be a lie. What really happened was Hannah stepped in and used a plate to drain the pasta. But hey, I think we can all agree the homemade strainer would have been cool.

The rest of the procedure went smoothly. Mixing together the pasta, sauce, beans, veggies, and ground beef was about as easy as it sounds. I don’t want to boast, but my skills with a mixing spoon are beyond this world. Everyone has their own mixing rhythm. I like to go one stroke back and forth across the middle and then bring the spoon around the edge in a circular motion and repeat. Of course my way isn’t the best, but if you know a better technique then I don’t believe you.

That’s really all there was to it. What was some pasta, raw beef, a bag of frozen veggies and a couple cans of beans 20 minutes ago was now a surprisingly colorful, fragrant, tasty dish. I know that you have been waiting for the tragic twist this whole time, but I regret to admit that this meal was a complete success. For less then $15, my apartment will eat for a week on this huge pot of goodness.

Oh but there is a catch, it tastes better the next day. Enjoy!

I was chosen to carry on a legacy. Pasta and beans is a George tradition. My ancestors smiled as I took my first bite. Dad, you don’t have to worry. The secret family recipe is safe with me.

1 lb ground beef
2 bags Orecchiette pasta
1 can tomato sauce
1 can cannelini beans
1 can red kidney beans
1 bag frozen mixed veggies
1 clove garlic
1 onion
cup vegetable oil
Grated parmesean cheese

Cook pasta in boiling water for about 8 minutes (or until tender).

Heat vegetable oil in skillet. Chop up garlic and onion. Add to skillet. Cook beef in skillet (until brown all the way through).

Wash beans and mix in veggies.

After straining out water, return pasta to large pot. Add can of tomato sauce and the bean and veggie mixture. Add ground beef.
Simmer on medium heat, stir constantly.