The student news site of Guilford College

The Guilfordian

The student news site of Guilford College

The Guilfordian

The student news site of Guilford College

The Guilfordian

Team Biohazard; pickles, pizza, and potty talk

Do you like sports, just not the organization? Do you like to run and skip and jump, just without the shrill sound of referee whistles? Then where were you for the ultimate frisbee tournament? You would have fit right in.Last weekend the men’s division of Guilford’s “Biohazard” ultimate frisbee team gave their last hoorah for the fall pre-season, playing game after game in a tournament at UNCG against regional rivals from UNCG, Greensboro Recreation, Radford University and Lenoir Rhyne College.

Coming out of the tournament with a 2-4 record, team Biohazard may not have dominated the competition, but they can at least claim that they came forcefully into contact with the hearts, heads, and funny bones of their opponents.

Of particular note was senior Dan Katzman, the veritable Mr. Personality of the team. With his arsenal of good-natured toilet talk, primal screams, and innovative facial expressions, he embodies the spirit of Biohazard, leaving his foes bewildered and his fans beguiled.

“Yep, I’ve had this here scrape since the spring of my freshman year,” said Katzman on Sunday while examining a recently re-opened sore on his knee. “That’s what happens when all you do is play ultimate.”

Katzman had been bleeding pretty much non-stop since a certain plunge he took during one of Saturday’s games against Radford. But neither his spill, which landed him squarely on his tailbone, nor Biohazard’s subsequent loss did anything to dampen the team’s spirit. They just kept on playing, running on a combination of pickles, pizza, and mythology-based humor supplied most often by senior Will McKindley-Ward.

“We like to think of Will as the spiritual leader of the team,” said senior Josh Lewis, team captain and self-proclaimed admirer of Scipio Africanus.

“We don’t really like to look at this game in a competitive light; though,” said first-year Rory Smyth. “To us, it’s more about some hippies throwing around a disc and having a blast.”

With that said, it may be relevant to enlighten you about the other aspects of ultimate frisbee included in this tournament that make it so appealing to the Guilford/hippy constituent. In addition to there being no coaches or refs, there exists a series of sideline rituals that often take place either before, during, or after the game.

“Part of the culture of ultimate frisbee is that there are other games that go along with it, like mini-tanks, disc jousting, and chugging beer,” shouted sophomore Aaron Woerner above the din of pagan growls and yelps coming from a circle of disc jousters.

Other popular sideline activities include leg wrestling, finger jousting, and “street fighter,” which involves players from opposite teams entering into a kind of verbal melee with each other, shouting out move names taken from the street fighter video game. These activities, which can take place simultaneously, often make for a riotous good time for onlookers and participants alike.

Luckily, however, the morale of Biohazard did not have to sustain itself on laughs and pickle-juice alone, as they closed out the tournament by winning their last game against Lenoir Rhyne College 13-11. Complete with punishing lay outs (when a player dives spread-eagle for a catch) and well-orchestrated passes, the game demonstrated that all kidding aside, team Biohazard is a force to be reckoned with, at least when they want to be

“Basically, I’d say the mission of this team is to promote as fun and relaxed of a version of the game of ultimate frisbee as possible in a way that may or may not involve nudity, ” Lewis said.

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