Freedom. We love it. America produces over 80 billion tons of freedom every year. While freedom is great, we in America are addicted to freedom and on the verge of overdosing. Thankfully our government has a twelve step program to help us out: internment camps! Oh, you didn’t hear that $385 million of your tax dollars was contracted by the government out to KBR, a subsidiary of Halliburton (go figure), to build internment camps right here on American soil for the Department of Homeland Security? Don’t worry, the camps would only be built in case of an influx of Mexican immigrants, massive terrorist detainment and/or natural disaster. Don’t ask why natural disaster victims would be herded into internment camps, just go along with the government’s plan. The truly scary part of this story is this is old news, the contract was signed in January of this year and it didn’t make the headlines.

All jokes aside, this terrifies me to the center of my being. Our government has shown it doesn’t mind torturing human beings or holding people with no charges or legal representation for five years and counting. I feel there is no reason our current government would not round up a couple million people and place them in internment camps. American history has shown that it can be done.

In 1941 Japan bombed the United States fleet in Pearl Harbor and brought America into the Second World War. The Japanese population in America was rounded up and placed in prison camps around the United States because the ruling powers believed the ethnic Japanese population would spy for Japan. The entire population of one ethnic group was rounded up and placed in large camps, hmm, where have I heard this before.

Nazi Germany had concentration camps established as early as 1933. Early on, the camps held political dissenters, communists and undesirable reporters. Nazi Germany rounded up not only Jews but also ethnic Rroma, or Gypsies, the mentally ill, and homosexuals during World War Two.

You might think that being taken by the government to an internment camp is highly improbable and the stuff of crazy conspiracy theories, but it is terrifyingly close to reality. The government created a plan in the mid 80’s to round up United States citizens. Its prophetically titled Readiness Exercise 1984, or Rex 84, and allows the government to detain large numbers of citizens in the event of a national emergency.

According to James Mann’s book, Rise of the Vulcans, ex-Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld and Vice President Dick Cheney worked on plans to establish a new president outside of the rules of the constitution under Reagan in the 1980’s in case of Rex 84. Any dissenters would be placed in these gigantic internment camps. Can you say conspiracy theory?

So the Bush Regime will imprison millions of people at some point in the future. Instead of just whining, I’ve compiled a list of seven easy activities that will help you with our internment camp problem.

1) Protest. Protesting is a legitimate form of dissent and a way to get your voice heard. Hold protests against the planned internment camps and give your opinion to the powers that be.

2) Get the issue in the public spotlight. Why should American Idol and K-Fed get all the attention? Talk about the issue of internment camps at work, at school, on the bus, or with random strangers, and eventually politicians will turn against the plan.

3) Get current leaders out of power. Vote them out of office or push for impeachment. We still live in a free country so we might as well use our power while we can.

If you fail to do the activities mentioned above, here are some things you can do to help you with life with internment camps.

4) Get out of the United States. I hear Switzerland is nice this time of year.

5) Practice bowing to your new police state masters. It will help with your personal survival and work you abs at the same time.

6) Practice being tortured. You will want to build up an immunity to suffering so you won’t be considered a wimp in the interrogation rooms.

7) Run for the hills. It doesn’t matter which hills, just run for them. You cannot be placed in an internment camp if you’re not caught.

Stockpile your freedom while you still can. Eat your freedom fries and your freedom toast now because in the internment camps you’ll only be given freedom gruel.