Two weeks of intense practice come down to this: I’m riding on a bus with people I hardly know and we have a game looming with a team I first heard of the week before. Why does this make me so nervous?
I sleep through most of the bus ride and when I wake up we’re at Methodist College; the colors green and yellow already make me nauseous. My stomach is fluttering, and I don’t know if it was the Golden Corral food we ate earlier or just my nerves. I slide my borrowed headphones on and put in Danzig to get pumped up and calm down a little; music is my pacifier.
We unload the bus and go to the locker rooms to get dressed; Coach says we have an hour before we have to go out. I think to myself that this going to be a long hour. I pass the time with more music and imagining what the other team is going to be like.
I just came from a good high school program where I’m the average size for linebacker. Too bad that’s not the case for college. The first day of practice I felt like a dwarf on the field, with everyone a lot taller and stronger than me. What a radical change.
We head down to the field for warm-ups. This is always my least favorite part of games, because my emotions are always so high. I don’t know, but I always turn into a different person before games.
Methodist wins the coin toss, so that means that after the “Star Spangled Banner” I’m going straight to field for the kick-off.
The ball is kicked and I sprint down the field, barely dodging a block by a guy who probably outweighs me by a hundred pounds, but I don’t have time to properly absorb that. I have a job to do: make a tackle. The deep receiver for Methodist tip-toes past two tacklers. I’m in perfect position to stop him. My mind goes blank and I dive.
I miss.
But I somehow manage to grab his legs and pull him down. The nervousness is gone.
Three quarters trudge by, and my jersey is pristine – not the slightest bit dirty. I don’t care though; I got the first tackle of the first game. I know that as a freshman I’m not going to be getting the kind of playing time I got in high school; I knew this before I got to Guilford.
I’m pacing up and down the field like I always do at games, and I hear something I didn’t expect: “Varnam, get ready, you’re going in!” I clumsily throw my helmet on and run to the coach. Is he joking? Does he really want me in there?
I run on the field, my heart pumping louder than the fans’ cheers and BOOM the ball is snapped. What do I do now? For a split second I panic, but I gather myself and remember my almost boot-camp-like training.
I take a deep breath, I close my eyes on contact, and before I can properly take a mental picture of it, the game is over.
My first game has breezed by me, and I almost missed it. I am relieved to have it over now; its impact on my psyche was unimaginable. From here on out, it’s smooth sailing.
The Quakers take on Hampden Sydney Sept. 25 in an away game, then Greensboro College on Oct. 2 for Homecoming.