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The Guilfordian

The student news site of Guilford College

The Guilfordian

The student news site of Guilford College

The Guilfordian

GOOFORDIAN – Few leads and no suspects in alleged cafeteria-cannibalism case

Eat your heart out, baby! (Kevin Bryan/Photo Illustration/Guilfordian)
Eat your heart out, baby! (Kevin Bryan/Photo Illustration/Guilfordian)

“I just thought he left school. I mean, it was just after the Sept, 11 attacks and all, I just thought he needed time to think,” an unidentified third-year recalled. “Campus Life never told me if he was kicked out or withdrew or anything. Now I know why.”
The unnamed student’s first-year roommate was among the nine Guilford College students whose skeletal remains were recently discovered in a footlocker in Founders hall. The rest of his body is presumed to have been eaten by students and faculty in the caf more than two years ago.
On March 31, a health inspector makig an annual visit to the caf and upon seeing the dusty footlocker, inquired about its purpose. When no one could produce an explanation for the footlocker, the employees present decided to investigate its contents. Inside they found nine skulls, numerous joint and rib bones, and nine Guilford College identification cards.
Dental records have shown that the bones do in fact belong to the students whose names appear on those identification cards. Attached to the school IDs were Polaroid photographs of various meat dishes in the serving area of the caf. The names of the nine students have not yet been released.
“I’ve been working homicide here for almost 20 years,” said Greensboro police Captain Gary Hastings in an interview. “I’ve never seen anything like this.”
“At this time we have no suspects,” said Greensboro Police Chief David Wray in a press conference April 1. “All the employees have been very cooperative and claim to have been unaware of these crimes.”
Few people ever inquired about the disappearances of the nine students. Only two families had contacted the school looking for answers.
“We have reason to believe that these victims were chosen for their low profiles,” Wray said.
After the discovery, the college immediately closed Founders hall, labeling it a crime scene. Accommodations have been made for services to be held in the building.
“A mass e-mail has been sent out to the entire college community requesting that students with any information concerning these findings please come forward,” said Kent Chabotar, college preident.
Students paying for the meal plan will receive gift certificates and coupons to local grocery stores.
“I’ve been wanting and trying to get off the meal plan for years,” began one senior at the college. “I never thought it would happen like this.

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