Dorm dwellers and apartment tenants alike will be on the meal plan next year unless they have a serious (and by that I mean you better be carrying around a colostomy bag) reason not to be.
The added revenue will allow Sodexho to upgrade the facilities in the cafeteria, allowing changes such as “fast-food style burgers,” “restaurant style serviceware,” “barbeque chicken pizza,” and our favorite desserts served with “more appealing presentations.”
Just what I’ve been hoping for!
First of all, this news really excites me, because by having everyone on the meal plan it will greatly simplify the lives of those people (in the apartments, for example) who would traditionally have had to prepare their own meals. After all, college is no place for learning things like how to manage your grocery budget or self-reliance. And I really feel I need the added structure in my day that having to get to breakfast before 10 a.m. and to dinner before 7:30 p.m. provides.
It does seem a bit silly to pay approximately $666 a month (that’s $3,000 a semester, times two semesters, divided by nine months) plus the cost of the meal plan for an apartment with a kitchen that you won’t really use, particularly when you can live off campus much more cheaply, but the administration doesn’t really expect us to do the math (particularly because they have craftily combined the cost of room and board next year, so you can only estimate how much you are paying for each), right?
Secondly, I really dig the three-option meal plan. Other schools have plans where you can pay different prices to purchase different numbers of meals in the cafeteria. But with our plan I can opt to spend the same amount of money and get 10 meals a week and a whopping $180 each year at Jazz-man’s.
That’s $180 in overpriced, poorly made espresso drinks, prepackaged sandwiches, and fatty, sugary cookies, muffins, and scones.
Just what I need to balance out my “fast-food style burgers.”
Lastly, I’m really enthused by this plan because after a year or so, even more improvements will have been made, and even more meal plan options will likely be offered.
I, for one, am ready and willing to gain 10 or 15 pounds, have three extra bowel movements a day, give up my personal autonomy as it relates to what I put in my body, endure a sense of powerlessness, and feel taken advantage of by the institution I profess to love each Tuesday morning as I guide prospective students around our majestic campus – for a year or so, while I wait patiently for this transformation to take place.
Of course by that time I will have graduated, but c’est la vie, right?