The student news site of Guilford College

The Guilfordian

The student news site of Guilford College

The Guilfordian

The student news site of Guilford College

The Guilfordian

Ten-Minute Pick Up

The lair attracts babes, but don´t let your mom know (Courtesey of
The lair attracts babes, but don´t let your mom know (Courtesey of

You’ve got ten minutes until your parents get to the dorm, and your room looks like the local landfill. Somewhere underneath the mountain of dirty clothes, various papers, and half-eaten food is the rug, which does not smell very good by now. There are two options. You could pretend it is your roommate’s mess, or you could clean it up. If you opt for pinning it on your roommate, be prepared to get something blamed back on you at some point in the future. It is only fair after all.

However, if you go for cleaning your room, here are a few tips that will help out.

If you only have ten minutes to clean, handle the most obvious messes first. Anything that may be rotting should have first priority.

Make sure there are sheets on your bed. This little touch will do wonders for making your room look clean and neat. If you are feeling in a Martha Stewart mood, you could even put the pillows at the head of the bed.

Pick up all the clothes on the floor and pile them into a hamper or laundry bag. Stick the bag in the closet or in the corner of the room where the smell won’t bother anyone.

Put all your school books on a shelf or neatly piled at the foot of your bed. All the papers floating around can be shoved in a plastic bag to be organized later. I used to heap everything in front of the door so my mother could not even get into the room, but most parents may not understand this defense mechanism and step on your stuff.

As a last resort, shove all the stuff on the floor into the closet or under the bed if there is space. Just make sure that the closet doors will stay closed with all your mess inside. Don’t overstuff; someone could slide open the door and be seriously injured.

To minimize cleaning time for the next visit, be sure to follow these rules:

Never puke on the rug. It is just too hard to get the smell out in most cases. If you have already made this mistake, buy some Fabreze and ventilate the area well.

Do the laundry at least every two weeks. I know it’s really hard to lug all your stuff down to the basement, but dirty clothes can make a room smell if they have been sitting on the floor for a week or so. You could try to guilt-trip your parents into doing your laundry when they see how pathetically incompetent you are at doing your own, but sometimes this tactic backfires.

Try to wash out dirty dishes within three days. If you wait longer, be prepared to deal with science experiments in your bowl. Invest in a small bottle of dish detergent, some 409, and paper towels. All three come in handy in numerous situations.

Last of all, if your room is still messy after hastily cleaning up, be ready with a paper that you got an A on. Good grades will always catch your parents’ attention.

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