Isn’t it funny how music ties us all together? Last Saturday night, for example, I found myself dancing to music I absolutely loathe, surrounded mostly by people I didn’t know. But, you know, whatever …. So, I danced to Michael Jackson, even though “Thriller” makes me want to either gag or cry. And I danced to a lot of bad rap music, which is even more terrifying. (Hey, maybe I could just quote Shaggy’s god-awful song: “It wasn’t me.”) At one point, I even waltzed to Elton John’s nauseating song, “Can You Feel the Love Tonight?”

Needless to say, I have essentially no self-respect left. Not only did I dance to all this terrible music, I was relatively sober, so I can’t blame it on an alcohol-induced breakdown of inhibitions. And not only did I dance to this horrid music while sober, I actually enjoyed it. Yup, my shreds of self-esteem just flew right out the window ….

Unfortunately for a lot of poor kiddos the next morning, me and my sobriety were very much in the minority at the party. Several passed-out people draped themselves across the couches and floor, and several others stood only with assistance. These inactive people may be the lucky ones, however. There were several girls booty-dancing who were too trashed to formulate a thought (which probably explains the booty-dancing part).

Poor little drunk people … They were having fun, I’m sure, but I doubt they’ll remember a single thing they said or did during the night. Their amnesia, though, may be the best thing for them, considering. I mean, I, for one, wouldn’t particularly want to wake up with the night’s drunken activities fresh in my mind.

But you have to wonder what part the music played in provoking the action it produced. Elton John apparently leads straight to waltzing and psuedo-heartfelt singing; Michael Jackson dooms you to moonwalking. Maybe Devo’s “Whip It” was blaring in the Bryan Quad a couple of weeks ago. Maybe Marvin Gaye happened to be playing in the Oval Office when Monica walked in.

So, you see, you should really be careful what music you listen to in that uninhibited state of trashed-ness. You will, almost certainly, succumb to the power of suggestion. If, for example, you listen to Weezer, you will play air guitar. If you listen to the Cure, you will find yourself bouncing around, singing at the top of your lungs. If you listen to Nirvana or Soundgarden, you will headbang. If you listen to Britney Spears or the Backstreet Boys, you will probably be punched in the face and have your music-choosing privileges revoked.

But we didn’t have that problem at this lil’ dance party that I’ve been rambling on about. Because, for whatever reason, all of us liked the music. Needless to say, I wouldn’t play any of it by choice. But it was fun at the time. Despite the fact that I knew the names of barely half the people in the room, I feel we are all deeply connected now, through our dance. And so, I hope you’ll join me in this question: “Can you feel the love tonight?” Can you?

Wait, I think I can …. Nope — that’s just the alcohol.