The Guilfordian

Goof: Campus lake converting to competition pool

Goof: Campus lake converting to competition pool

Andrew Walker, Organic Farmer

March 30, 2018


Filed under Goofordian 2018, In Print

Disclaimer: This story is a part of out April Fool’s edition, The Goofordian. This story was created by Guilfordian Staff and is not based in fact. After nine years of students complaining that there is no pool on campus and the women’s swimming team practicing off campus, the administration has crea...

Goof: Faculty exclusive poetry slam leads to rally

DaeQuan Fitzgerald, Pen Sniffer

March 30, 2018


Filed under Goofordian 2018, In Print

Disclaimer: This story is a part of out April Fool’s edition, The Goofordian. This story was created by Guilfordian Staff and is not based in fact. Chaos erupted at the English and Creative Writing Department poetry slam Tuesday night in room 203 in Duke Hall. The department held the poetry s...

Goof: Sports have been played to their fullest extent

Kathleen Herbst, Expert Mathlete

March 30, 2018


Filed under Goofordian 2018, In Print

Disclaimer: This story is a part of out April Fool’s edition, The Goofordian. This story was created by Guilfordian Staff and is not based in fact. “Sports are done,” declares the One True Sports Authority and senior at Guilford, Mae Wood. “The late Stephen Hawking had a theory that the...

Goof: Supremacy in Division IV comes at a cost

Nate Williams, Resident Sports Connoisseur

March 30, 2018


Filed under Goofordian 2018, In Print

Disclaimer: This story is a part of out April Fool’s edition, The Goofordian. This story was created by Guilfordian Staff and is not based in fact. Guilford College surprises the country as the first to sweep the board and win all national titles in NCAA Division IV. Division IV is a new divi...

Goof: “God’s Plan” is new North Korean anthem

Jonah Selom, North Korean Spy

March 30, 2018


Filed under Goofordian 2018, In Print

Disclaimer: This story is a part of out April Fool’s edition, The Goofordian. This story was created by Guilfordian Staff and is not based in fact. “God’s Plan” to be made new North Korean national anthem, provokes U.S. response On March 21, North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un announced the hit ...

Goof: Guilford College tries too hard to be edgy

Lana Heltzel, Senior Writer

March 28, 2018


Filed under Goofordian 2018, In Print

Disclaimer: This story is a part of out April Fool’s edition, The Goofordian. This story was created by Guilfordian Staff and is not based in fact. Have you ever yearned to attend a college that understands the tortured wretchedness within your heart? Do you wish Guilford’s campus was shrouded...