I am frustrated. I am examining. I am evaluating. I am reflecting. I am rationalizing. And now I am tired. My mind is clear, completely barren and uninhabited with any thoughts but one. This isolated enigma that exists right in the center of my space of cognition. Who do you really think you are? Who do we really think that we are? Is where we come from as complex and indiscernible as we’d all like to think? Or is it simply that we in fact have an idea of where we are from and who, therefore, we are but are not ready to confess that aloud. How can a woman in this country from Washington D.C. with black skin and coarse hair say she does not know what she is or where her ancestors were from? It is effortless to express that you are from D.C., that’s easy because being from D.C. doesn’t mean anything significant to anyone. Why do we abandon the rest of our story? All of your family was not born here, though many don’t know exactly where they were from, it is safe to say that if your skin is not white, the inception of your lineage did not begin “here”. These are facts; whether acknowledged or not.Excuses after excuses … at the close of business they are all the same. Why do we have an organization called Blacks Unifying Society on this campus? If the actions of the black students of this campus indicate anything, it is that today in the year 2007, BUS has over stayed its welcome at Guilford College. Black people do not come to these events. Life will occur, that is true. But there are things in life that prompt us to stop and be still, and consume the experiences its particular moments impart onto us, but the experiences offered by a group such as BUS no longer seem to offer that. The message was obviously weak that being black and preserving all aspects of blackness – past and present – is a task that takes participation. It’s huge, that’s why most people don’t try. You may “claim” it … but are you really standing in all the “stuff” that is blackness?

It is easy to get offended or disconnected by my message here. But why? And then when you answer that with complex, intellectualized arguments, then what? Continued distance and/or antagonism? All the self-hatred and all of the unexplored territory in our beings are the big red stop signs that inhibit us from crossing into blackness.

1) In the context of living in the U.S., what do you consider yourself to be and why?

2) Is black included in your various descriptions? Why or why not?

3) If not, how do the descriptions that you acknowledged affirm your existence as it relates to living in the U.S.?

4) If yes, what are you doing to embrace it or preserve the legacy?

5) Why does Guilford College have an organization called Blacks Unifying Society? Do you find it necessary?

6) What would it mean to the community on campus with black skin if Blacks Unifying Society checked out and withdrew as an official student organization?

7) If you are truly surrounded by people who care for you then would you be excluded if you expressed interest in Blacks Unifying Society?

My desire to learn more about myself, should not threaten you, if you love me. And that is true in all aspects of life as I have come to learn. My disinterest in you as an individual would not, if I am truly invested, keep me from developing myself as well as my community.

Therefore I am not angry. I am not condemning. I am