College students are thrown from our old high school life into a new arena where our raging hormones run rampant. Even if you choose not to have sex, at some point everyone will undoubtedly encounter signs of coitus at Guilford. Welcome to the college dorm. Sex can be a great joy for the people involved. It is one of the few activities that works the core muscles of the abdomen and relieves stress. Half an hour of sexual activity burns 150 calories. It’s a fun way to work off those extra pounds. It can bring two, or potentially more, people closer to each other. However, sex can be annoying for those people not involved. Sexual congress is, for the most part, exclusive. When someone is getting to know people in the Biblical sense, other people can’t hang out with them. Fornication seems to take priority over other activities. Making whoopie can encroach on other people’s lives by being loud and obvious. Public sex is the most obtrusive sexually activity. There are many people who abstain from the dirty deed, believe premarital nookie is bad, or don’t want to see someone intercoursing on the couch where they sit and watch TV. While public sex is a common Guilford rumor, it could just mean that people are not being caught. I realize many college students have not dealt with sex in dorms, so I decided to write up some helpful hints on the two biggest problems plaguing clandestine dorm room lovers: sound and roommates. Loud noises are generally not appreciated by parties not involved in the dirty deed. Paper-thin walls are common in dorms, so even if the door is closed your neighbors will most likely hear you. While you might think it is no big deal, your fellow dorm members will not want their study time interrupted by loud screams, slaps, moans and giggles. There are three easy ways to deal with noise. First is to just be quiet. It might be hard, but with some self-control you can stop yourself from yelling out your partner’s name at the top of your lungs. Playing loud music is an easy remedy. Choose music to fit your mood. The problem with that is now your neighbors might complain about your loud music. A third option is to find a time and place when there are no people around who could hear your sensual activity. Roommates can throw a monkey wrench into your sex life. It is awkward for everyone involved when your roommate walks in at the wrong moment. This can also create strife between you and your roommate. Work out your schedules so you know when your roommate will not be in the room. It is very simple and painless.
However this might not work for the weekends or evenings, so agree on a warning system. A sticky note on the door is simple enough. A clean sock wrapped over the doorknob is very effective. Your roommate will feel the sock even if they are not looking at it. The only way to unlock the door is to take the sock off. You did lock the door, right?