On Feb. 25, the board of trustees announced a modest tuition increase of 57 percent. This year, however, students did not greet the increase with their traditional protests. VP for Campus Life and Enrollment Randy Doss suspects that students are finally seeing the direct benefits with their own eyes.

“I think students are finally understanding the benefits of our renovations,” Doss said. “They’re part of a comprehensive effort on the part of Campus Life and the administration to help you, the customers. After all, that’s what we’re all about.”

Among the renovations are the new toilet paper dispensers. During spring break, all of dispensers across campus were suddenly replaced with silver-plated distributor units.

“At first I didn’t get it,” said first-year Harald Dane. “The ones we had were working fine. The paper in the silver-plated ones, though, is much more absorbent than regular paper.”

Miller isn’t the only one who has taken a liking to the new dispensers.

“It’s like a new luxury. I feel like I’m living at a spa, only I have to work there too, so maybe it’s not that great,” said junior RA James Stuart.

According to Stuart, there have also been a number of thefts regarding the new dispensers. So far, Public Safety has done nothing to thwart the dispenser theft.

The administration is also excited about the dispensers, and are planning more “beautification” projects, including a new media center. President Chabotar has quashed any rumors of a new sports facility. However, plans to renovate the bookstore were announced on March 25.

According to the press release, the college “deems it necessary to
renovate the bookstore, making it more appealing to the average consumer. The new bookstore will also house a special section dedicated to prospective students.”

“I’m a fan of the new stuff, I mean, what’s more important than good toilet paper?” said senior Edward Wessex, leaning against his car.

Wessex, who runs a discrete taxi service to UNCG to let students acquire books printed within the last two years, has recently been the focus of many car thefts.

“Yeah, my CD player, car seats, even my steering wheel were taken. It makes the ride a little harder, but now my car has character. That’s what counts,” said Wessex.

“This is what makes Guilford special,” Guilford president Kent Chabotar said during the March 25 press release. “We can’t expect prospective students to actually like it here with the way it is now. The more we do to make this campus a better place, the better off we all are.”

Despite the surge of renovations and upgrades, many facilities have been downgraded to help balance the budget, according to Chabotar.

The stall door locks on the first floor men’s bathroom in Binford were removed over break, as well as the street lights in the parking lot behind Frank Family Science building.

Public Safety is also receiving its share of renovations, beginning with improved golf carts. Complete with FM radio and heated seats, the new carts much more comfortable, according to public safety officer Daniel Jones. “It’s a nice thing to roll up in style, busting students for being out and about during tours,” said Jones. “I go home with a smile.”

APRIL FOOLS FOLKS!!!