2008 Woodie Awards
Grasshoppers game turns into ADD fest
$6 and a 15-minute drive can get you a lot more than a Greensboro Grasshoppers game at First Horizon Park.
John Jenkins and Kevin Smith
Issue date: 4/13/07 Section: Sports
- Page 1 of 1
It was 6:55 p.m. on Monday, April 9, when five men skydived into First Horizon Park to kick off the first Greensboro Grasshoppers home game of the 2007 season. It was a fitting way to be introduced to the Greensboro Grasshoppers.
"It's Maui Wowi Monday!" said Spaz, the Grasshoppers' goofy announcer, while sporting a bleached mullet and overalls, shamelessly advertising. "I loooove smoothies," he continued to say in the 40-degree weather.
We paid $6 for the cheapest seats in the house on Hopper Hill, a grass slope on the first-base side of the stadium. The hill was populated with many bored children, who were perpetually rolling down it as well as body checking each other into the grass. This eventually became more entertaining than the game itself.
The Grasshoppers' nemesis on this particular night was the Lake County Captains of Ohio. The Captains started off the night with a 3-run homerun, which excited Spaz enough to play horseshoes with toilet seats on the infield and to dance around like John Travolta to The Bee Gees.
Meanwhile, on Hopper Hill, sophomore Lexi Mincer proclaimed, "these are not Quaker kids," when she witnessed a 4-foot kid attempt to strangle the life out of a 3-foot kid while rolling down the hill.
The game itself got a little tighter as John Raynor, Scott Cousins and Logan Morrison all scored for the Grasshoppers, making the score 4-3 in the Captains' favor.
Spaz entered the field once again at the end of the 4th inning, this time with two sumo wrestling fans, Kevin and Carol. Kevin, the sumo in the red, came out victorious. Nobody cared.
"That's retarded," said the 8-year-old child behind us fully dressed in denim to match his "Camp Nowhere"-style mullet.
In the 5th inning, the Grasshoppers scored one on a triple that appeared to be foul. The Captains' manager came out and kicked some dirt as the Grasshopper fans booed.
After that, we could tell that the kids in front of us were growing bored of baseball. Luke, 10, and Micah, 8, took the stage and started to wrestle each other on Hopper Hill. Luke refused to be taken down by an 8-year-old, although he had to stop because "something was in his eye." Sure.
The top of the 6th proved to be a long one, as the Captains broke the tie with a 7- run inning. At this point, the game was practically over.
Our attention was then drawn to some drunken hecklers 20 feet away. The intoxicated sports fans made the extra effort to yell unprintable obscenities and started to kill the mood. One heckler was escorted out of the game.
The final score was 14-8, giving the Captains a victory. The crowd was too cold to be disappointed. Besides, Spaz was giving out T-shirts while fireworks were being set off.
"It's Maui Wowi Monday!" said Spaz, the Grasshoppers' goofy announcer, while sporting a bleached mullet and overalls, shamelessly advertising. "I loooove smoothies," he continued to say in the 40-degree weather.
We paid $6 for the cheapest seats in the house on Hopper Hill, a grass slope on the first-base side of the stadium. The hill was populated with many bored children, who were perpetually rolling down it as well as body checking each other into the grass. This eventually became more entertaining than the game itself.
The Grasshoppers' nemesis on this particular night was the Lake County Captains of Ohio. The Captains started off the night with a 3-run homerun, which excited Spaz enough to play horseshoes with toilet seats on the infield and to dance around like John Travolta to The Bee Gees.
Meanwhile, on Hopper Hill, sophomore Lexi Mincer proclaimed, "these are not Quaker kids," when she witnessed a 4-foot kid attempt to strangle the life out of a 3-foot kid while rolling down the hill.
The game itself got a little tighter as John Raynor, Scott Cousins and Logan Morrison all scored for the Grasshoppers, making the score 4-3 in the Captains' favor.
Spaz entered the field once again at the end of the 4th inning, this time with two sumo wrestling fans, Kevin and Carol. Kevin, the sumo in the red, came out victorious. Nobody cared.
"That's retarded," said the 8-year-old child behind us fully dressed in denim to match his "Camp Nowhere"-style mullet.
In the 5th inning, the Grasshoppers scored one on a triple that appeared to be foul. The Captains' manager came out and kicked some dirt as the Grasshopper fans booed.
After that, we could tell that the kids in front of us were growing bored of baseball. Luke, 10, and Micah, 8, took the stage and started to wrestle each other on Hopper Hill. Luke refused to be taken down by an 8-year-old, although he had to stop because "something was in his eye." Sure.
The top of the 6th proved to be a long one, as the Captains broke the tie with a 7- run inning. At this point, the game was practically over.
Our attention was then drawn to some drunken hecklers 20 feet away. The intoxicated sports fans made the extra effort to yell unprintable obscenities and started to kill the mood. One heckler was escorted out of the game.
The final score was 14-8, giving the Captains a victory. The crowd was too cold to be disappointed. Besides, Spaz was giving out T-shirts while fireworks were being set off.
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