he catfight has begun: in one corner George W. Bush and the other, John Kerry.
This election is going to come down to who plays the media best. As much as I think Bush is a complete idiot for a president, he’s got a decent public relations team. The move he pulled on Thanksgiving, leaving in the middle of the night to have dinner with the troops in Iraq, was brilliant on part of his P.R. Team.
However, America wants a change and John Kerry provides fresh angles on the current issues and will cause the Republicans to have fits of whiny breakdowns, not all that dissimilar from a five-year -old’s temper tantrums.
The best parts of any election are watching the ad campaigns. It’s like watching those commercials for prescription medications: The ads that sound like the miracle everyone suffering from allergies or skin diseases has been looking for, and then in the last 20 seconds lists all of the hazardous side effects.
The “Ad Wars” have already begun and it is only March.
The Bush Administration released an ad this week claiming that Kerry planned to “raise taxes by at least $900 billion” and weaken the Patriot Act “used to arrest terrorists and protect America.” Bush also backed down from using footage from 9/11 after families protested, according to a CNN article.
Kerry fired back, calling Republicans “attack dogs” and “the most crooked [group], you know, lying group of people I’ve ever seen.” Keep in mind this is only March.
This election is almost as good as a Jacqueline Susann novel. If the past week has been any indication of what is to come, then the debates should be spectacular.
Bush can be expected to pull some extravagant public relations stunts in the coming months. I think that he should do another celebrity boxing special on FOX and face off against Stephen Segal or Michelle Yeoh from Crouching Dragon, Hidden Dragon. I’d vote for him if he won those fights.
Kerry may not need anything that wild because he seems to actually care about the issues: health care, the economy, the defense budget and the environment. But hosting Saturday Night Live wouldn’t hurt him.
And let’s not forget Ralph Nader’s role either. Winning four percent of the vote in the 2000 election, Ralph could easily swing the results in either direction. When was the last time a guy named Ralph had this much power?
The November election is seven months away and the winner is too close to call. I say fall back on a classic formula and choose the most attractive candidate. Which for me is the Reverend Al Sharpton.